"The thoughts that occupy our minds eventually mould our character- the type of person we become"

I am home safe and sound to my comfortable, fortunate life in Canada. I feel wonderful. And simultaneously I feel sad, nostalgic, anxious, amazed.
Reintegrating back into Canadian culture is supposedly one of the hardest parts of this whole crazy experience, and I have learned, above many other lessons, the power of the human spirit to adapt and thrive; given the right attitude.
I remember my first week in Ghana, when I was sick, feverish, and felt lonely. I went into my room and cried. I sat in the bathroom and cried. I knew I had to pull myself together because it is really not "Ghanaian" to go around crying in front of everyone, and I still was not quite close enough to any of the Canadians to confide in them. I felt alone and I felt guilty. Our first few days, I felt like a tourist living a very comfortable existence, and I was uncomfortable with that.

I came to do development work, to get my hands dirty and escape my white privilige (boy was I wrong-I've never felt whiter in my life). I've done the "all-inclusive, isolated week on a resort in a developing country" vacation and wanted something more. I wanted to move past tourism to truly understand and integrate into a culture, and forge genuine relationships with those living in the country, who may never leave that country. I was reflecting on the money that had been spent to send me to Ghana, and my privilege once again smacked me in the face. What else could the $5000 plus that was spent for me- a young, naive, passionate activist- to spend 6 weeks in a country, have been spent on? How much of a lasting, sustainable impact was this small project going to have? How much could my experiences be used to impact change when I returned to Canada? Clearly, I felt confused/sick/upset in more ways than one. But after that, I made a concerted effort to remain POSITIVE and HOPEFUL.
Two of the greatest human mindsets, and two I learned from Ghanaians and Ghana herself.
From that point on I saw the good in everything we were doing, and I rejoiced in the small daily victories; interacting with students, talking about life with taxi drivers, learning the local language, jumping outside my comfort zone, smiling and greeting strangers with genuine love in my heart. After that choice, never ONCE did I feel homesick (no offense, Mom).
As I observed some fellow Canadians become depressed/apathetic/jaded/angry/homesick/resentful, I remembered that day at the beginning of my trip, and I saw how different my experience could have been. That could have been me-or worse.
Instead, I look back and can honestly say that I had the most wonderful time of my life. I've never laughed, cried, learned or smiled more. At the end of almost every day I would complain that my cheeks and jaws hurt; too much talking and laughter and smiles. Which is not to say that I was ambivalent to the pain, poverty, inequality and corruption that existed; I merely chose to look at my 6 short weeks as an investment towards my personal betterment as a human being, a global citizen, an ordinary girl with endless opportunities to make this world a little brighter every day and give what I can. Would it help anyone to spend the 6 weeks miserable and bitter?

I look back now and I wish I could just hop onto a plane right this second. The friendships I developed with fellow Ghanaians will always warm my heart and bring a smile to my face, and sometimes bring tears to my eyes. Because there just wasn't enough time spent with them. For all the times I napped, I wish I spent talking with people. I wish I hugged people every day and that I never stopped thanking people for all they were giving me.

Why am I so fortunate? I am very aware that this is not the case for all who participated in the seminar. Most of the Canadians have said that they probably won't return to Ghana. Yet I know I'm going back. I cannot wait til I can step foot off the plane, hear OBRUNI, see children running in the streets, women selling fruit and icecream off of their heads, women, men and children dancing, singing, crying in church, and to hug my dearest friends who are in still Ghana, living their normal lives, as I write.

When I talk to people about Ghana (which is every day, it's hard NOT to talk about it) people are often shocked by some of the conditions, or say "I could NEVER go to Africa!", or "..And you want to go back there?!?". Sometimes it's hard for me to even remember what I went through, but somehow when I was there I adapted to everything quite smoothly. My first day or two of paranoia of Malaria (wearing long sleeve shirts, pants, socks to bed and loving my mosquito net and bug spray) faded fast and soon I felt like I had lived here my whole life. Part of me feels like I belong in Ghana. I felt at home, identified so much with the way of life and the people. I didn't mind the "not so nice" elements of Ghana; the litter, the huge cochroaches/spiders/ants in your bed/kitchen/backpack/food, the blunt criticism, being called fat or old or being told to go iron your clothes or fix your hair because it doesn't look nice, the 5 am wake up calls from roosters, the sweaty heat and the need for a hankerchief, the need to develop your thigh/bum muscles to squat and pee anywhere, the lack of clean running water and the need to always make sure you'll have enough water to get you through the day, or locals constantly trying to either a) scam you for more money or b) marry you. All of this was just part of the experience I had (surely not all Ghanaians live like this, please don't let me mislead you).

What amazes me most is how, when in Ghana, I could feel "at home" and more than anything else, at peace.
And yet, I am now back in Canada. Typing on a laptop in the comfort of my beautiful house, with internet speed like no other, with a full belly, a closet full of clothes and shoes and accessories, a smoking hot shower and clean running water whenever I want, and the anonymity of being just another white girl again. And I'm at home, at peace.

My reintegration has been smooth, and yet chaotic, extreme, emotional, beautiful.
I will continue to reflect back on this experience for the forseeable future (probably my whole life), and still have much to write and share.
I regret that many stories will now be told in hindsight, from Canada, but internet in Ghana was slow, to say the least, and there were seemingly much more important things to do at the time.
I'm sure that even 1 month from now I will have much deeper insights into what I actually did, what I learned, and how I have changed. In reading one of posts I wrote before I left, where I talked about knowing that this would change my life, yet not knowing just how or what that would look like, I realize how true that was then, and still is today.
Ask anyone who's seen me since I came back and they will tell you that I have been very changed by this experience. I am a different person with a different vision and outlook.

I could write for days but I'll close here by saying just how grateful I am for my time in Ghana, and to all of you who have supported me on this rollercoaster ride that brought me across the world and back again, in one safe, healthy, happy piece.
I feel whole, and yet I have an insatiable need to quench my thirst to undertake more development work in Ghana, something much longer, more sustainable, and more challenging.

Until then I will continue to send loving thoughts to Ghana, share my experiences with anyone willing to listen, and find outlets for my passion and joy to translate to positive social action in Canada.

"The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you do is who you become. Your integrity is your destiny- it is the light that guides your way"- Heraclitus